IE6 users and status-conscious creative directors

A friend directed me to this site , belonging to a creative director at Squarespace, and containing the following message for IE6 users: Hi, if you are coming to this site via Internet Explorer 6, you might not be getting the best experience possible. Honestly, I can’t even begin to think about what your entire experience on the internet must be like? (…probably like riding a bike on the highway while cars blow by you on their way to Costco to get gallons of mayonnaise and 60-inch plasma TV’s). How will you ever be able to use this website?????? You wont. You’re an asshole and your browser is an asshole. So look, I’m going to be honest: I kind of hate you. BUT we c-a-n make this work. Here is what I am going to need you to do: fire up your Toshiba ShitBook© that weighs about 45 pounds, wipe the Cheeto dust off the screen, download Safari ( http://www.apple.com/safari/download/ ), delete Internet Explorer from your computer, punch yourself in the face, and get me a pulled pork sandwich.

Wow! I was reminded of this Digg survey which revealed that users who use old browsers generally do so because it’s out of their control, concluding: Giving them a message saying, “Hey! Upgrade!” in this case is not only pointless; it’s sadistic.

Certainly, our creative director would have some empathy for users, yes? But perhaps that sort of research is beyond his grasp. So I’ve taken the liberty of rewriting his message in plainer terms: Hi, if you are coming to this site via Internet Explorer 6, you might not be getting the best experience possible. Really, it’s clear you can’t afford the things that I have. You’re probably fat and poor, and I’d like to remind you that I am not. Just look at the brands I choose! Remember, in high school, how people would actually get angry at you for not having cool sneakers? This is totally not like that. Good day.